Q: What does your girlfriend and a condom got in common? The second one I called mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what to do. Then the other girl interrupts saying "Hold on a minute. " The girl smiles and says "Yes it is" Rich & Poor A rich man and a poor man are both buying anniversary gifts for their girlfriends. " And the poor man says "I'm buying her a pair of slippers and a dildo. The first one I called 7 Up, because he had 7 inches and he knew how to keep it up. And the rich man says "I'm getting her a diamond ring and a Marcedes." "Why both? And the rich man says "That way if she doesn't like the ring she can still enjoy the Marcedes when she returns the ring." And then the rich man asks the poor man "What are you getting your girlfriend?
Wife: Can I have ’000 to get some breast implants to make them bigger.
Husband: Why don’t you just rub toilet paper on your nipples.
New Year's Jokes An Irish Girl comes back for New Years New Year's One Liners New Year's Jog Resolutions for Pets Jokes for The Elderly Dieting Resolutions New Year Prayer The Wish Resolution to Quit Smoking New Year's Dream Top 10 New Year's Resolutions Top 10 Resolutions for Teens Top 10 Resolutions for Men Top 10 Resolutions for Women New Year's Quotes Top 10 Quotes for the New Year New Year's Traditions New Year's Traditions in America The other asked, “Where have you been all this time?
Ever since my girlfriend got pregnant a lot has changed in my life...my name, address and telephone number Facebook asks what I'm thinking. It shows when someone touches her phone or her boyfriend. They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.. This time, Michelle didn't get home until very late.
A: The washing machine doesn't follow you around for two weeks after you dump a load in it! A: Lipstick Q: What should you give a man who has everything? Kissing your girlfriend on the cheek(good) kissing girlfriend in the mouth (awesome) Kissing girlfriend in front of her ex (boss). Your girlfriend is like a meatlocker every guy wants to store his meat in her Every girl is a ninja... Boyfriend: awww spell it out to make it more romantic. Girlfriend: "Go to hell." Boyfriend: "I'm sorry, I can't go to hell. I was caught selling ice." Boyfriend: Amazing world, only 25% boys have common sense, very short figure! Later that night, she wrote in her diary, "I repeat, a girl's best friends are her own two legs." On the third date, the pair returned to the country road.